| whatever, son. |

You ever read something from someone you know and just get completely irritated by what they had to say?

Especially if you know you were involved, somewhere underneath, woven into the bitter fabrics of their past, and they *dont* recognize that you indeed were a very important part of that stinkin past at one point?

Yeah, that's cryptic as heck. Lo siento. Actually I'm *not* sorry. Let's let those vague and open comments stand. Cuz that person should know *exactly* what I'm talking about if *that* person decides to roll up on my blog one day soon. Whatever, son.


That irritates me a little, because a) I have an ego problem b) I don't like being shrugged off like I didn't exist and c) *that* person was my world at one point, yet it seems like I was trash-suey to that person when that person *swears* that I wasn't? Whatever, son.

(In a few hours, I probably won't mean half of what I've just said. I'm just a brat with a bad temper.)

Let's move on from the bitterness, shall we? Bon, commencent.

Life's been ok lately. Still busy, still insane, still having crazy dreams. But I'm ok. I have good company around me - even though they're not literally around me - and it's nice to know there's people that I can trust and that care enough about me, even to send me silly texts, or 4 page long essay emails, or attempted phone calls. Or 5 hour long phone calls. Those are the best aren't they, knucklehead? hee hee. Crazy amounts of TMI though! You *know* what I'm talking about too, cheater! hahaha.

*sigh* I'm worried about my progress as an artist. I haven't drawn anything in forever. Haven't written a *real* poem since last year, around December. No, wait. Ummmm....no, I wrote an ok one last month, but it's just 'ok'. Plus it's full of symbolism, which is why I haven't shared it with y'all, ya wouldn't understaaaand.

My creativity is lost between the pages of Dante and Chaucer. My artistry is swallowed by slavery in the Transatlantic world circa 1450 and the roles of sampling in mass media. My course load is kinda heavy, pero, the classes I'm taking aren't that difficult. I did most of my difficult stuff last year, so that was kinda smart on my part. But I'm still a slacker, which'll be a difficult thing to shake.

*yawn* I'm tired. I've been having to wake up early a lot since my dad's surgery and his continuing recovery. 7:30am almost every day! That's like NIGHT to me. lol. And anyone who knows me knows I can't fall asleep until the sun rises. It's been a struggle. I'm just not a morning person. Oh my goodness, I'm a GRUMP in the morning. It's really bad. I'm gonna need to find a boyfriend/husband who *loves* the morning time or else neither of us will ever get anything accomplished in life.

Yeah. I don't have much to say (for now). I just feel like typing. I have a 300 page novel to read for class, but I'll zip through that in about 5 hours or less. Yes it's a gift, I know.

I was gonna do this grandiose post about all my favourite Canadian artists at the moment, but that takes too much energy. I'll do it one day when I know I have nothing else to do.

Ladies, you ever get ticked off when people decide to drop by, and you just wanna stay in your house looking unkempt, and then because people decide to come over you have to fix yourself up? lol. I get so annoyed when that happens! Someone just did that to me, and I had to tie up my unruly hair and put on a bra. That crap sucks. I wanna be India.Arie dangit!

Oh yeah, Jeff done lost his mind. But I still love him though, he just needs a hug. Only critique I have for him though is if you're gonna be scathing and berating towards your audience, do it with people ages 30+. Don't ruin the assiduous, idealistic minds of the youngin's with your harsh realism, Jeff. Then NO ONE is gonna wanna change the world:

"We as black students have lost our minds," Johnson said. "What the hell is wrong with you calling yourself a minority?" Johnson felt that the term minority was inaccurate because blacks in America can connect themselves to their brothers and sisters in Africa, Australia and in the Caribbean. Once they succeed in doing this, they will understand they are the majority. This understanding would lead to their being more proud of their heritage.

Ok, this agree with. I believe my deceased love Ernesto G. was one of the first freedom fighters to point out the inaccuracy of calling those of various ethnic backgrounds living in North America (otherwise, displaced and/or diasporic peoples), a 'minority'. That mentality is as old as cotton-picking.

He was uninterested in whether any members of the audience liked or agreed with his words, he stated, "I need you to clearly understand that in no way shape or form do I mildly care if you liked my speech." As the audience applauded, he came back with "Do not clap. I am not here to entertain ya'll. I am not 50 [referring to rapper 50-Cent]."

HAHAHAA! That's funny in a creepy sorta way. He's overworked. My poor baby. He needs other interests besides activism. Ahem.

Shutup, Jason.

K, that's it.


Shalom, chaverim and Ja mata ashita.

Hebrew and Japanese Words of the Day:

Selichah - Selichot

(se-lee-KHAH / se-lee-KHOHT) n. Forgiveness; esp. forgiveness by God. Forgiveness is obtained by exercising emunah in the sacrifice of Yeshua as the kapparah for your sins, and by evidencing wholehearted teshuvah or repentance in one’s daily life. Selichot (pl) are prayers for forgiveness, esp. said in the month of Elul, before the coming “Days of Awe” (the 10 days from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur).

(Sidenote: If y'all listen to Madonna's new song 'Sorry', there's a part where she's saying 'sorry' and 'forgive me' in Spanish, Italian, I believe German, and ding ding, Hebrew! She says selichah and everytime I hear it I'm like, 'this heffa is speaking Hebrew in a dance/pop song...wow'.)

Meepuru: Kore wa nan desu ka.
Mise no hito: O-kashi desu.
Meepuru: Oishii desu ka.
Mise no hito: Ee. Hitotsu doozo.
Meepuru: Arigatoo. Itadakimasu.

Maple: What is this?
Sales clerk: These are sweets.
Maple: Are they good?
Sales clerk: Yes. Please try one.
Maple: Thank you.

Current e-Motions: bleeeehhh...I want sleep!
Wikked Riddims: Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It In People - "KC Accidental"


| cant...breathe... |

Ok ok, this is not another raving fanatic post about my unconditional love for Jeff Johnson. (yes it is, but it's merited!)


Yes, you read it correctly. In addition...


I can't even explain how all of this happened, how who knows who, who just happens to know HIM. All I know is I can't *breathe* I mean literally CANNOT BREATHE. There's not enough O2 in the stratosphere right now that can support the EBULLIENCE oozing out of my system right now.

My sister. Oh my gosh, I guess the aphorisms praising those who give and are gracious are true.
I've held my tongue, covered for her, taken care of her child like she was my own (my niece calls me 'mommy' A LOT and it disturbs me) and my constant push for her to become a better person overall = is paying off.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! [/ lunatic laugh]

I'm going to meet my prototype. Ok, nothing's final yet but still. HE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE! lol.
He knows who I am! He's SEEN my picture! Any of y'all seen the boho pic of me with the headwrap and the angle of the pic is kinda at the side and it's in a sepia hue? No? Well boo on you. You can catch it here. Anyway yeah, he's seen that one IN COLOUR. Bwahahaha, none of you suckas have seen it in colour! Or ALL of it either, cuz I cropped it. HE HAS.

*using asthma inhaler*

I can't even feel my fingers type! I have an essay to do too, and I'm pretty much drunk off of excitement right now. I can't sleep! This is insane. All of this happened within a few HOURS!


Dude is gonna read my WRITING! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


And if anyone knows me, y'all know my writing is MY SOUL. *dreamy eyed* He's gonna read my soul.

(Ok, I'm gonna pass out.)

Amazing how things change in ONE day. Moment to moment...


Shalom, chaverim and Oyasumi nasai.

Hebrew and Japanese Words of the Day:


(ne-’e-MAHN) adj. Trustworthy; reliable; faithful.


(in Kanji means the following):

Eternal Reason Protection Wisdom Elegance

(You are an elegant princess, with a mind quick to reason, in whose wisdom is eternal protection.)

They *must* have had me in mind.

Current e-Motions: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wikked Riddims: Bell Orchestre - Recording a Tape the Colour of Light - "Throw It On a Fire"


| thisisarantthisisaramble (read at your own risk) |

I'm not enjoying life right now. There's too much pressure, there's too much to do. There's too much expected of me and I can't *handle* all of this at this point. It's my last freakin year in university and I have so many *other* things to deal with in my face and it's extremely unfair and inconsiderate. I'm slacking on school, cuz there's SO many family issues to deal with. I'm scared I'm gonna fail all my classes. I'm scared I won't graduate. I'm scared I'm gonna be a failure. I don't know what to do. I blame my mom. I blame my sister. I may be being a brat, I may be being inconsiderate myself. I can't weigh the ethics of it all, all I know is I'm tired of being unhappy. I'm tired of my hair falling out due to limitless amounts of stress. I'm very, very unhappy. Everyone who has a soul can see that this girl (read: me) is angry, annoyed, tired, restless, lost and confused. I'm harbouring resentment. I'm harbouring unforgiveness. Yeah, sue me, I'm human too. I can't always be *good* all the time. There's time I don't wanna have to be the bigger person and do the right thing. I wanna scream at the top of my lungs in bitter protest:

It's just all too much!!!!!!!

I need peace.
I need rest.
I need quiet.
I need time to BREATHE.
I need solace.
I need people.

I need a hug.

Shalom, chaverim and Oyasumi nasai.

Current e-Motions: all of the above.
Wikked Riddims: Stars - Set Yourself on Fire - "The Big Fight"


| doin a lil pre-spring cleaning |

Annnnnd I'm back. Not for long. Ummm, revamping the layout as you can see. Still have to work on the wretched comments section. This dude's layout has THE messiest coding I've ever seen, and I'm a neophyte in this thing. Anyway, the layout's nice and clean huh? hee hee, and *I* did the border up top. Japanese and Hebrew words for 'peace'. Dope. Interesting how they both end with a 'mem' type character (ie. the boxy looking thing).

If I knew how to say 'think minimally' in both languages then it'd be even doper, buuuut I'm not *that* advanced yet. Soon though.

I'm tired. Been scratching at this for a while now...but I'm working on it. I have tons of blogs to visit and I hope I get to all of y'all this weekend. I'm just so busy!...sooo much to do. Days need more hours, or, well, I just need more sleep.

K, I'm out.

*edit* As j.uno so 'nicely' pointed out, IE is not a good look for the border.
Mozilla all the way, son. And I fixed the comments section, whoo hoo! We're open for business.

Shalom, chaverim and Oyasumi nasai.

Current e-Motions: arrghhhhhh! I *hate* javascript!

Today's Riddims: Lights and Sounds - Yellowcard. hahahahaa, YEAH I KNOW! But I'm in love with their drummer, LP. *swoon* Once again, its the hair. I'm just a little disturbed that his bday was yesterday (Feb.16th.) lol. *inside joke*


| *hyyyypppeeerrrrrrr* |

HAHAHAHAHAAAA!! It's here it's here!


I'm doing a dance right now. Seriously, I am!

Love y'all.

Now someone love *me* dangit.

Shalom, chaverim and Oyasumi nasai.

Current e-Motions: *deliriously happy*
Today's Riddims: Stars - Your Ex-Lover Is Dead