| Toronto has become dry bones. |

I've avoided posting about the gun violence in Tdot on purpose. Firstly, because it makes me LIVID. Secondly, because it makes me feel tremendously burdened.

On the 26th, which is called Boxing Day in Canada (do y'all in the US have that? It's a British thing), 10 people were shot at close to Eaton Center (J, you remember where that was? It's near the first stop we got off at and ate...? The big huge mall that has ten million levels...?). As a result, a teenaged girl was shot dead. (Click the title and/or HERE for the story.)

Since this summer there's been more than 50+ shootings. Not to mention the one that happened IN A CHURCH, A CHURCH I USED TO VISIT FREQUENTLY. And now this one, in front of a mall I visit quite often as well. And funny enough, I was supposed to be down there that day, but I ended up working instead. I wasn't even supposed to work! Baruch Hashem.

I dunno y'all, I dunno. I used to love my city, even underneath all my whining and complaining, this place is my heart and home. But now?!!? What kind of home is this?! What kind of evil has completely overtaken Toronto? Does this city NOT see that it's being spiritually attacked? Obviously, it doesn't, because secularism is rooted so deep into the very culture of Toronto, that the word 'spirit' might as well be banned. Oh yeah, it WILL be, once Bill C-415 passes. And you know it'll pass, cuz that's prophesy right there.

I dunno, son. Something has to be done. And no matter how much we talk about it, sit and discuss it, have town meetings and rally's, nothing on a physical level will ever solve the problem. People's spirits need to be HEALED. It's so serious man - it's too serious.

ever feel so handicapped
and strangled
that the voice
within you is wiped
out underneath the
righteous rage
pitted deep into
your ribcage?

ever feel like
*you* can save the world
yet the world
turns around
and tells you
it rather get rid of
*you* instead?

The helplessness I feel, the inadequacy. What can anyone do? Do people even know what to do?

We can pray. We can fast.

But we need to touch each other. Hold each other. Help each other. Support each other. Attend to each other. All of that = healing.

You ever notice that when Yeshua was going to heal someone, they HAD to address their issues/problems/ailments before He healed them?

Word.

Kids are holding onto guns like life preservers. And I don't blame it on 2 Quarters or Eminem or any other no talented wanna be thug rapper. That's overdone and obviously, not the issue. These kids are starving for love, attention, and GOD. Yes, G-O-D. And if you don't have Adonai in your life and you're wondering why *you* are self-destructiong, THINK about it.

Man, I am SO ANGRY.

All I can offer up is this prayer.

Shalom, chaverim...? (Where IS the shalom?)

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Yetser Ra



(YE-tser ra) n. Evil impulse; inclination to do evil or perform wicked acts. Yetser HaRa is the “old nature” that feeds on sinful impulses.

Current e-Motions: ........
Today's Riddims: Switchfoot - Nothing Is Sound - "Politicians"

PS. I'm starting a blog for my poetry/prose/rambles, cuz I find they need their own space. Once I have it hooked up I'll let y'all know its whereabouts.

: imitatingthe&decon~struc_tionof*punctuation }| . in{rambling) prose ;

It’s always `me` on the other side of the screen, panting hurting and wondering why I’m here and what my purpose is and if the other person on the other other side gets the gist of why I’m there and if it’s of !!!any importance!!! to them * import tenses like I do often when something stabs me in the heart, but heart bruises only cause more blood to pump out which thus makes me even more invincible right+ I thought that was the case, but the court overruled my composure which leads to irrational behaviours of a free soul that takes the time out to sit behind {this side of the screen and ponder where she’s supposed to go from here} I believe my room is the safest bet yet dreams can attack me just as easily as dimly lit computer screens but there’s no cover from danger so I’ll bury myself in my covers and take hold of my pillows for ample ammunition over the incoming bombs of nightmares that befall me, enthrall me and leave me up for \hours\ wondering\wandering\ what else to do with my time\\\\ but sit in front of glass screened |computers|. It’s the gift and curse and I’m under the cloudy_burst_of_film and pixels and megabytes of crystals and seep and sore and sear into my skin while I listen to stories that break^^my^ heart^--_-_-____. Over and over again like I was Nelly and Tim McGraw and I draw on the ceiling in order to create an atmosphere of cumulus nimbus and temp----estu---ous clouds that rage and roar into my subconscious like a lethal threat only to uphold me and revive me keep me alive to see the way I found out ~blocking~ someone from the other other side was easier than I think.

Delete:

Right)

(Click.

Delete!

Esc/

a/

p/

e.

Thatoughttodothetrick;

| *sigh* |

Before I begin, I'd like to thank you all for your wonderful comments re: the Giftmas holiday. Some of you I disagree with *mean grills Jason* and some of you left well thought out comments that have me pondering a bit, thinking I may be coming off a bit harsh *smiles at Tre and Jen, waves at Jen too, thanks for visiting my site :)* But overall, I pretty much stand my ground. The only thing I've caved with, is getting people some kind of gifts, and I decided to MAKE them. I'm on a jewelry making frenzy! Oh and if anyone wants a bracelet or necklace, h-o-l-l-e-r! Gabi, I remember you said you wanted something a while back? Let me know which item you want and I'll get to it, sis.

Anyway, as I was: *siiiiiiiigh*



I dunno where Greg is and it's driving me crazy. (If some of you don't know who Greg is, he's my friend, a really really good friend, my ex as well but that title disappeared loooong ago, umm he's a loser bordering on geekdom, used to be in the airforce in Alaska, he's a punk, still lives there right now but is originally from Cincy, he sucks big time also, aaand that's all ya need to know for now). The last two nights I've dreamt about him, and they were pretty much the same dream:

I'm in some apartment in NY and I have this monster closet full of clothes, almost like Cher's from Clueless, and there's this sense of urgency in the air. And once I start to get anxious, I get this weird phonecall from my either Greg or my mom and she tells me to hurry up cuz he's coming over and he only has an hour for lunch, so I have to be on time, as in be dressed and ready to roll out on time. So I'm digging through this huge closet full of clothes, and I try things on but they never look right, or they're either too big or too small or not appropriate for the summer. And while I'm struggling trying to find clothes, Greg calls me and says he's downstairs and is telling me to buzz him in, or instead that I come outside and meet him by his car or else he's going to leave. It's 12:13pm. I continue struggling with my clothes and my hair, and last night my hair started to fall out, and it was this funny red-orange color (don't ask me why) and then I start to really panic, because time's flying by and I'm shedding like some wild animal. Anyway, by the time I find something decent (but I still don't really like what I'm wearing) I come out of my apt. and look for him. It's now 1:13pm. And woosh, he's gone. So I'm frantically looking for him up and down the streets of Manhattan (why the HECK would I live in hot-arse smogville Manhattan? That's how you know this is a dream, cuz there's no way in hell I'd live there) and I can't find him. Then some other crazy stuff happens where I'm looking for a job, and I'm starving, and some other crap I can't remember.

Anyway, the dreams were really, really wacky - I've only told the basics. And I've dreamt this exact dream about him before...ummm...I'd say back in late summer, a bit before school started. And it always has a lot of clothes, and there's a lot of panic and distress, and I never see him. Yet, he causes all of the commotion.

Anyway, yeah I dunno where dude is. I've called him how many times and sent stupid texts. I even sent a weak text threat (yesterday), but I caved the next day (today) and called him cuz I'm a sucker. I'm trying to figure out if he's mad at me...? But Greg's not the type to be mad at me and ignore me. Greg's a lil more confrontational than that. And if it's because I sent that sarcastic text about his soon-to-be-ex, then I hope he knows that I was joking and really didn't mean what I said. It was a silly comment, cuz I just wanted to point out how insane I think his soon-to-be-ex is, so insane, that she's even convinced me that she's NOT insane. That was the gist of it at least. Ha ha, right? Right? ...No?

Dang.

Side note: Matthew's back in New Orleans and he hates it. I don't blame the poor boy, I'd be mad too. I'd get into the details of his living arrangements, but I don't even know what they are. He has no i-net access, and I can never call him cuz I'm too nocturnal (meaning I'm unavailable in the day, yet have all the time in the world to talk at 3am, hahaha as many of you now know, even SHOP at 3am, however he can't talk to me cuz there's this Gestapo-enforced curfew at his sister's house where he's prohibited from any nightly function besides using the bathroom).

Anyway yeah, back to freakin Gregory. I have this gut feeling something's terribly wrong. And maybe I'm picking up from the panic in my dreams, but I feel really anxious re: him right now. I don't even know why. He could be fine. Just in a funk. Just wants to be left alone. But come on, he pretty much keeps me in the loop about everything, why disappear now? My sister thinks he went back to Cincy, but he doesn't go back home until Feb. I dunno, maybe he's just working a lot? Nah...he'd still at least try to call. Especially since I've left messages. Ugh. If he's ignoring me I'll be REALLY PISSED. Cuz that's a fruity thing to do.

Ok I'm done. I'm just gonna stop caring. I realize people tend to show up once I do that. Losers.

Shabbat Shalom, chaverim.

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Mechayil el Chayil



(me-KHAI-yeel el KHAI-yeel) phr. “From strength to strength."

Current e-Motions: anxiety turning into anger...grrrr! But actually really content inside :) Giftmas is going to be really nice this year. Ohhh and I'm going to this hotel dinner party with my homie Miguel aka Migs for secular New Years! Whoo-hoo, and ya know he's paying for me too, hee hee.
Today's Riddims: GRITS - Dichotomy A - "Get Down"

| Have a happy Saturnalia, punks. |

I'm the grinch of Giftmas, as my girl Souli calls it. I have noooo tolerance for it whatsoever. And PLEASE don't come to me with that 'ohhhh we commemorate Christ's birth, it's just a representation'...*yawn* That argument is as weak as me trying to dodge a Saturday night exam, when I done know it's WAY after sunset.

Giftmas is all about consumerism folks, nothing else. If you really want to celebrate Yeshua's birth, I suggest reading up on Sukkot, cuz most likely that's when our Homeboy was really born.

I'm just annoyed by it all. I feel the most pity for my niece. She's blissfully anticipating the season, because of course she doesn't know better, and in addition, my sister is molding her into all the falsities of this supposed holiday. She's gonna regret it one day, I'm telling you. My niece is only 4, but she likes to know the truth up front or else she'll be crushed when she finds it herself.

Anyway, as for Chanukkah, ummm I think I'm gonna cop that brass menorah I saw at the Judaica shop earlier last week. It sucks being the only person in my house to celebrate it but alas, such is the plight of the Messianic.

Okay, that's my grumpy speech. I had to say SOMETHING. So now I go back to studying for my exam, looming over my overdue essay, and figuring out how I can dodge this so-called New Years coming up soon after this horrid season. Blah I say, blah!

But it's ok kids, I still love you.

Shalom, chaverim.

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Hasharat Hanefesh



(hash-ah-raht han-NE-fesh) n. Immortality. The Immortality of the soul.

Current e-Motions: not too bad...my house is in utter chaos! We're remodeling like crazy.
Today's Riddims: Adam Tillman-Young - Christ For Life (hahahahaa, I wish I could post it!)

| I got Tre's book today. |

Sold onto filed

Weaponry

Wedged between my teeth.

I eat it all up.

I grind for this.

It’s the ISBN number

That hit me in the

Rear

While sitting atop

Of pinwheels printed

Out on vanilla sheets

Binded in coils.

Blue doom

Surrounds the room

And inhales

All of the joy.

Poised myself

For satisfaction.

Tried a game

Of hulahoops for fun.

Traced the creases

That formed

Frowns and smiles

Jumping lines

Illegally

Rebellious.

Lethal

Is

The word

That leads her.

She doesn’t have

Storybooks plastered

Over with technicolors.

She has

Vanilla

And black

As this manual

holy book.

Mantra this,

Mantra that.

Non-liberation

Would be

If I went to sleep instead.

Falling out of

In love

With

The cap covered

Earth

Cradling its shadow

For 12 hrs coming.

Slumming

My tummy

I punch holes

Right through me.

And she watched them

Get delivered

Each time I flipped it.

Cuz she decided

To spread out

Mass appeals

Through Lulu.

Took em up and

Processed the fold

Wedged between my teeth,

Doggy eared.

I gotta save recollections.

There’s more…

So much more,

To read.

(c) 2005

I take it that "To all those I've befriended" applies to me too! Hee hee.

God Bless you sis. I'm drowning in phenomenal right now. For really, really.

Lei: You're up next.


Shabbat Shalom everyone.

| PSA: |

He's married.

"WHAT?!?!"

"Well...that's why it's been difficult for me to call you..."

"Hahahahaahaaa!!!!"

Then he copped a listen to Emcee Dialtone's debut single.

God is hilarious. Truly.

Goodnight, folks.

| Ring ring !? |

Liiiieeeesssss, I DO care.

Call me, call me, call me! And no, I'm not gonna call dangit.

I don't care how many things I gotta do, this fool better call. (Though he's repsecting what I said when I told him 'calling me for the next few weeks isn't a good idea, cuz i have sooo much to do' < style="font-weight: bold;">blacked out when he said Maryland. I know toooo many knuckleheads *cough* Carlos, Rico, Ev *cough* from there. Wait, Adam you're originally from MD too! Snap, how did I forget that? You blend in too well with the Phillyvibe. And you never came off as a Murderland head to me, anyway. Maybe it's because you're a geek.

Dang, I'm a sucker.

Lonely people should never meet wonderful people lol.

If I had met a loser I'd feel so much better.
Cuz I'm used to that.

CRAP.

And you done know I wrote him a poem.

Hehehehee :) Couldn't help it! And it's actually a poem, haven't done an 'official' one of those since this past spring.

I've been itching to write a poem for someone new, and here it is. I probably could've written this one beforehand too, since it comes off that way. It has bits of pieces of what happened, but there's an anticipation in it that didn't happen (cuz he and I didn't even hesitate to converse with each other), but I like the sense of innocence in it. Has a demure-like quality even.

Am I gonna post it?

Maybe.

Ugh, I feel vulnerable.

YUCK.

*swoon*

That's one of the best words ever made-up. *swoon* Or no, it's not a word per se, it's ummm...what's it called...uhhh, the 'o' word....oh yeah! Onomatopoeia...yessss, that's it. Wow, go English major.

Dang...I can't forget his eyes, son son.

*trying to maintain gangsterdom*

Ayo, son, dude's eyes were like shining and ish son, f'real. Like all glisteny like, god. I'm sayin yo, dude was like the most captivating presence...

HAHAHA, what gangster says 'captivating presence.' Wow, I can't even front.

This calls for a Dwele song....hmmm actually, I'll give it a couple weeks before alladat. I take Dwele way too seriously for aaaaalladis.

Shalom, chaverim.

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Mammash



(mam-MAHSH) n. Essential thing; reality; concreteness; 2) adv. Really; truly (“It was mammash a miracle!”).

Current e-Motions: I need to stop swooning and do some serious homework. I hate this! (read: lies! I love it! hehehee)
Today's Riddims: Errika Dixon feat. my home-god Krish 'Sincere' Allah! - So Simple (click clicka)

| 23. |

Yes today is my birthday. Bye-bye 22, hello hell 23.

Adam, have I told you for the Nth time that I loves me some you?

Yes?

Ok, good.

ADAM CALLED ME!

Unlike the rest of you!! Some of you I don't blame, cuz you either a) didn't know when my birthday was or b) knew about it, but just didnt have the opportunity to call and/or were crying at the idea of calling someone "international." or even c) don't know me like that and/or don't even have my number(s).

And that's COOL. And we're still cool, cuz I'm not asking much from y'all.

But those on my hate list. NOT COOL. Some of you, might have a shortage on funds, but even so, send a gotdang EMAIL if you're so cheap you can't afford to call.

I almost put Jason on my hate list, but alas, he sent me an email. Thank you J :)

Even so, I'm not upset. I have adopted something I've learned from the Dalai Lama: "Expect nothing, detach from everything."

It's so easy. It makes life very, very simple. And disappointments? Vanished.

Anyway, other than that...today was a great day! I went to my friend Junior's wedding. And Adam, remember how I told you earlier that it WASNT a Jamaican wedding? WRONG. I mean it wasn't Jamaican, but it dang sure was Trinidadian to the MAX. I was loving it, crazy jokes and maaaad food. Y'all would've been glued to the kitchen. I couldn't eat anything but salad and breadsticks, but I could tell the oleaginous, grease fest of food was wickedly delicious.

Oh oh oh...and I met me someonnnneee. Whoooo, gotta love being single and going to a wedding. Hehehehee. He's so dang COOL. Very geniune guy. And he can saaaaang! *swoon* He sang two solos during the ceremony, and he happens to be my boy's cousin. That was a lil wild.

The setback with homeboy: He lives in Jersey. Crap! Why is it I gotta meet the one dude NOT from here? *sigh* It never fails. But I dunno, we have each other's numbers, so we'll see. And honestly, I don't even CARE at this point. School is taking up so much of my time, and the other bits of time I have left is for work, The Lex and sleep. I barely see my fam, unless I purposely take the time to slack off from any of the former (which would be school, of course).

I have essays coming out of my skin!! Especially this one research paper: 20+ pages, how grand. Luckily though, I got sick recently. I have a sweet doctor's note that excuses me from many handed-in-lates and/or not-handed-in-at-all's. Mwauahahaha, go Canadian health system!

Anyway, tonight was Soul-i's going away whatnot, and I'm so sorry I couldn't make it, I hope she got my email. Hopefully she and I can meet up in the not so distant future, IY"H. I know she'll have hilarious stories and pics for me though.

Cliff, you are...exquisite. I dunno how else to describe that masterpiece called Pearl. There's a lot of references I get, and it's wonderful to see how smoothly you incorperated them into the monologue. I do have to read it over again though, and give you more detailed commentary. Life is so crammed right now, I can't even enjoy your literary genius.

Tonight was also a Dub Poets Collective slam which I wanna cry about missing. Pero, my cousin knows a bunch of the people who helped organize it, and she's gonna hook me up with a meet and greet with a few of the artists. Whoo-hoo!

Ok, that's it I think. Today wasn't about me at all, but at the same time I enjoyed it. I had fun, got a few phonecalls from friends and fam, met a great guy, and that's that. Oh and did I mention I have these dope Beyonce-circa-2002-braids in my hair now?

She's sexy! (c) Pharrell.


Shabbat Shalom, chaverim.

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Chatunah



(kha-too-NAH) n. Jewish wedding. Chatan is the groom; Kalah is the bride; Edim are witnesses. The elements of a Jewish wedding normally include the following: one chosson (the groom), one kallah (the bride), and a ceremony sometimes referred to as kiddushin. Separate steps usually accompany a traditional wedding:

1. Shidduch - it's a match!
2. Vort - formal engagement
3. Ketubah - marriage contract
4. Bedekin - the visit from the chosson to the veiled bride (after a week of no contact after the engagement)
5. Chuppah - the wedding canopy
6. Kiddushin - The giving of the ring
7. Sheva brachot - seven blessings recited over the couple
8. Breaking of the glass - remembering the exile even in our joy
9. Cheder yichud - "room of privacy" - the closed room where bride and groom are together for the first time. Normally they share a meal here, directly after the ceremony.
10. The reception - dancing, music, etc.

Current e-Motions: *swoooooooon* I wonder when he's gonna call...
Today's Riddims: Musiq - Just Friends

| ADAM!!!! |

I was in the middle of an EXAM fool! lol, I love how you call me at these obscure times.

2pm!!! I'm fully in class man. And what made today even better? I didn't turn off the ringer on my phone, because *sigh* no one calls me anyway, so I kept it on thinking it wouldn't matter. Wrong move! So right as I'm about to approach this stupid question on Richard Rolle and Hadewijch of Brabant, THE WHOLE LECTURE ROOM HEARS:

"EVERYBODY 1-2 step, I LOVE it when you 1-2 step...we're about to geeeet it ooooon!"

Yeah I have Ciara as my ringtone, BITE me.



That's her on the right, mind you. She looks a lil mannish in that pic, no? Dang.

Anyway, so I'm here fumbling to turn it off. And it was LOUD too, because I had my cell on the desktop as a clock to check my time.

Luckily, my prof was cool. She just shrugged it off and did one of those indirect comments 'May I remind you all to PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONES IN THE LECURE HALL'...

LOL. I wasn't embarassed...that much. That's not the first time it's happened to me, but this was the first time it happened in a room full of 200+ students. Oh yeah, gotta love that.

At least some of em were singing it.

Hahahaha, and this is the class I barely go to, too. I'm sure they all know me now.

But I know you'll call me back, on MY REAL BIRTHDAY, which is next week FRIDAY. You have the worst calendar in the world. I'd rather you have a CP time calendar, than just a CRAPPY one.

I still love you though. You just ALWAYS manage to get me at bad times...or rather, not get me at all. hee hee.

How about I call YOU next time, ok? (That is, AFTER my birthday, sucka.)


Shalom, chaverim.

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Tsedakah



(tse-dah-KAH) n. Charity; Benevolence; Justice.

Current e-Motions: *sigh*...writing an essay...one of 3 I have to write in less than a week which = 32+ pages of writing. *grumbles*
Today's Riddims: that song that was on The Apprentice tonight, by that Nigerian dude. Jide, I think? That song was hot.

| Shutup, I like Surveys |

You're an Indie Pop Kid. You like songs about
relationships and the prettiness of nature.
You're sentimental, but certainly not emo.
Oh, and if you aren't an English Major, you
should be.


You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
brought to you by Quizilla

Boooo, I'd like to think of myself as emo...at times. Well...blah. The English major thing...creepy.

Bands // Song Titles
Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band::	Esthero!
Are you female or male::	That Girl
Describe yourself::	Brave Bear Woman
How do some people feel about you::	Wikked Lil Grrl(s)
How do you feel about yourself::	Half A World Away
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend::	Bad Boy Clyde
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend::	N/A, but if I had one he'd be: Indigo Boy
Describe where you want to be::	Country Livin (The World I Know)
Describe what you want to be::	Superhero(es)
Describe how you live::	Lounge
Describe how you love::	Blanket Me In You
Share a few words of wisdom::	We R In Need of a Musical Revolution
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

Ok, it's official. I have a girl-crush on Esthero. I think I have for a while now, just didn't wanna admit it. I think I dig her because if I was a soultress-trip hop white girl from tha Tdot, I'd wanna be her.



And what ever happened to DOC (on the right, duh) with his fine self?! I know he's hiding somewhere in Toronto. I'm gonna find him, hee hee.

Ok last one...

130 Things People Want To Know About You
.: The Basics :.
Name?:	Christine
Age?:	22
Gender?:	Femme fatale
Location?:	Toronto
Hair color?:	burgundy with dark brown roots lol
Eye color?:	darkest brown
shoe size?:	ha!
height?:	5'6 and a half
interests::	anything illegal.
.: Favourites :.
food:	currently: thai green curried potatoes and lentils with jasmine basmati rice.
drink:	nestea iced tea
music style:	everythang.
music artist/band:	COLDPLAY.
tv show:	Girlfriends and ANTM
movie:	too hard to pin down just one.
thing to do:	sleep, sing, some sort of art, share profound and obscure thoughts
ice cream:	currently: butterscotch soyscream
colour:	orange and yellow!
song:	currently: X&Y - Coldplay tied with Lounge - Esthero
book:	Breathe Eyes Memory
computer game:	none. video game? Soul Calibur 3 and Tekken 5 tied
board game:	chess!
dessert:	currently: fruit and yogurt
quote:	"i hate quotations" (c) TS Eliot
animal:	a kitty!
holiday:	New Year's day, both Gregorian and Hebrew
number:	11
name:	hmm...i dunno. Siddhartha!
.: Friendship :.:	!!!!
who's your best friend?:	nobody *sniff*
other close buddies...?:	The Collective(TM), Keisha, Tai, Chris, Beth, Migs, Ksu
last friend you hung out with:	Shallene
last friend you hugged:	Naila
last friend you saw a movie with:	Migs, no wait, Tammy.
last friend's house you went to:	Hope's
any friends you cant stand?:	all of em.
any friends you've regretted becoming friends with?:	ummm...
if so, who?:	welll....
do you have a lot of friends of the opposite sex?:	i used to.
most annoying friend?:	probably Ev.
most preppy friend?:	Keisha, hands down. what a snob lol.
darkest friend?:	darkest? lol, as in subculture dark? Ksu.
hyper-est friend?:	no one, I'M the hyper one.
nicest friend?:	im not sure
funniest friend?:	all of em are hilarious
meanest friend?:	all of them are equally mean
most outgoing friend?:	Beth and Migs
shyest friend?:	Tai and Shallene tied
hottest friend?:	Matthew and D, tied.
friend with the best personality?:	um hello, that's me.
friend with the best music taste?:	none of em, I'M that friend lol.
friend who sings the best?:	me again
friend who laughs the most?:	yup, me again
friend you enjoy being around the most?:	Migs
friend who your parents love?:	Migs
friend who your parents hate?:	Chris, lol.
friend your parents don't know about?:	a few of em...
.: Romance :.
got a crush/boyfriend?:	I aaaaalways have a crush or two..or more lol.
if so, what gender?:	it's a dude
name?:	hahahahaa
how far have you gone?:	with what?
with who?:	say what now?
the last person you kissed::	N/A
the last person you hugged::	N/A
the last person you wanted to kiss::	ooooo...
how far you do want to go (at this point in life)?:	i dont even know what i want at this point in life with this or these particular mens.
hottest friend?:	Matthew, D annnnd let's throw in Greg for some levening lol.
hottest celebrity?:	CHRIS MARTIN.
if you could date any famous person, who would it be?:	see above and also Jeffery Johnson, tho he isnt really a celeb.
dream date::	anywhere with Jeffery Johnson.
dream honeymoon::	N/A
age you want to get married (if not already):	ick!
number of kids you want to have (if not already):	i dont know.
straight?:	im straight.
gay?:	nah, son
bi?:	no, boss
would you rather your boyfriend/girlfriend be gay or bi?:	neither, homie.
.: This or That :.
Kerry or Bush:	Paul Martin! lol.
rap or rock:	soooooooul.
pop or country:	country, dixie chicks are dope.
movie or tv show:	films, my dear.
girl or guy:	guy, duh.
fire or water:	fiiiiyaahhhh.
death or life:	life, abundantly
cheerleader or punk:	cheeleader punk, that'd be crazy.
prep or jock:	prep, aaaaall the way.
kroger or publix:	hmmm?
walmart or target:	target
avril or jay-z:	ugh.
pink or black:	black
cheez it or cheese nip:	cheez it
cat or dog:	kitty!
tape or glue:	glue
msn or aim:	aim
mall or movies:	film festivals
writing or typing:	both
phone or computer:	in person
baseball or football:	basketball
p.e. or health:	skipping both.
high school or middle school:	high schoooool, dang i miss it.
dunkin donuts or starbucks:	starbucks!
amc or united artists:	united artists
walgreens or CVS:	neither.
brownies or cookies:	brownies *sobs*
reading or writing:	both
surveys or polls:	both
livejournal or xanga:	LJ!
Yellowcard or Ashlee Simpson:	ewwww.
AFI or Jojo:	AFI
Green Day or Beastie Boys:	Green Day
kill or be killed:	neither, im a pacifist.
eat or be eaten:	eat!
hate or be hated:	be hated...you can hate me now (c) Diddy/Nas
ocean or pool:	ocean *swoon*
singing or dancing:	singing whilst dancing
heart or peace sign:	heart in a peace sign
halloween or christmas:	neither
question or answer:	question
fear factor or the o.c.:	fear factor
the simpsons or who's line is it anyway?:	who's line is it...maaaan i miss that show.
Disney or The N:	neither
pancakes or waffles:	pancakes
strawberrys or blueberrys:	blueberries
yogurt or frozen yogurt:	frozen yogurt
kiss or hug:	both please...now.
guitar or drums:	drums, all the freakin way.
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

Yeah, now I need to go to sleep. Bonsoir, mes amis.


Confession: I'm addicted to Soul Calibur III *sobs* Curses to you, PS2, curses! Btw, I haaaate you cocky XBox 360 owners. UGH. Get away with your 'ultimate entertainment experience' selves. And your sexy looking game system. Elitists! Hmph.

| *screeeeeeeeech* |

WHO was THAT? I mean who was that person, last entry? Abby McApathy? Wow.

Let's erase that sad, sad woman from our memories and gigabytes, shall we?

Thanks.
Good.
Bien.
Bon, commencent.

Hahaha, there were these little French tests we used to take in elementary school, and even in 9th grade French class, that used to start like that: 'Bon, commencent!" And they'd ask a question in our cahier d'activite and the pre-recorded voice would say 'vrai au faux?'

Hahahaha. All my Canadian heads will understand.

Ugh, I HATE(D) French. Glad that's over with.

Learning Japanese is soooo fun. I found a few sites/books that let you pick up conversational tidbits, and I've been using them sorta kinda. Alongside Hebrew/Yiddish. Alongside Spanish. Dang, I should be like an interpreter later on in my career(s) or something. And work for the government. And plan tons of fanciful, cleverly orchestrated subterfuge against The Man(TM) with so-called 'Third World' countries.

*thinking anti-imperialist, anarchic thoughts* Mwahahahahaha!

Sorry. I guess I've been watching the France riots on the news too much.

So yeah. Ummm, York didn't go on strike, thank God. I almost had lock jaw the night before the decision was made. I was stressing SO MUCH about it, you have no idea.

So now my teeth are acting up. Too much stress. I'm going to see a dentist tomorrow, today rather. Crap. I've been living off of Motrin for the last few days. Also that stuff that numbs your gums, that babies use when they're teething. Can't remember the name.

Ohhhhhh and guess who went to a CeCe Winans concert on Sat!! That was DOPE beyond belief. I have pics but they're blurry. Ugh, the seating arrangment was disgusting. We were all packed in like sardines, in a auditorium that's made for 2000, and there were about 2,800 there. Uh huh. Then the line up to get in. Um, hello, why did I have to line up for 1 hour to get into a concert I bought pre-paid tix for? Yeah, that's Canadian event planning for you. And I had the nerve to wear my high-high choco brown boots. Mah sexay boots. But they hurt like hell, ummm after about an HOUR.

I still danced the night away in em though. She was amazing. And she's even more purdy in person! And there was a point where she stopped the music, in the middle of singing 'Alabaster Box' and was like "ok, y'all need to stop with the pictures, I'm here to worship, and y'all should be too." W-o-w.

There's more I wanna say, but it all slips me now.

I'm feeling much better y'all. Thanks to HaElyon. Thanks to enlightenment. Thanks to my hormones stabilizing. Thanks to my creativity coming back to life. Thanks to Lawrence Christopher, (this DOPE author!) thinking MY writing is the ishy-ish! Thanks to The Excalibur for having new Staff Writer openings! And finally, thanks to ADAM. I loooovee yooooou! I just read your emails, hee hee. You're the best. Like I always knew you were the best, but now you're even MORE the best. The bestest best.

"Thank heaven for you..." (c) Esthero

......

After typing out best so many times, I realize how ugly a word it is, considering its purpose is to describe someone/something above and beyond. "Best." Ewwww...it should be related to cows somehow. Bovine. Dairy. Don't ask me why I think that.

Question: Would it show a lack of loyalty to dump The Lexicon and go write for The Excalibur instead? I mean it IS York's numero uno paper (Lex is a cool second). Plus you get PAID. And I can work with them AFTER I graduate. Hmmm...I ponder such things.

I'm reading Kathy Acker for class. I feel insanely challenged. I'm writing so much, I jot stuff down in my sleep.

Yet, I still manage to not do much homework.

"My life is brilliant..." (c) James Blunt

Shalom Chaiyim, chaverim!

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Nacham (to comfort)

Current e-Motions: soooo much betteeeerrrr! I needed to be an artist again, I forgot I was. And I finally have another so-called 'life plan', with GOALS! I had retired those in haste (and disbelief).
Today's Riddims: Esthero - Breath From Another - "Lounge" AND Coldplay - Parachutes - "High Speed"

PS. I realize I haven't replied to comments on here lately. Sorry about that everyone, I'm a jerk. I've read, laughed at, thought about and enjoyed all of them. I'll resume my commentary soon :) And write Souli a blinkin email! lol. And yes, you too Jason.

| Must be nice (c) Lyfe |

I'm sad today. Again. Perpetually.

It would be nice to leave this place right now. Go to Tibet and chill with the monks or something.

It would be nice to have someone listen to me. Sincerely. Attentively. For like 5 minutes straight.

It would be nice if I trusted people enough to share things with them. Stop being so secretive. And evasive. And elusive. (I'm sorry.)

It would be nice to be appreciated.

It would be nice to be honored.

It would be nice if Americans spelled honored with a "u".

It would be nice to witness the eradication of fake thugs, worldwide.

It would be nice to stop putting labels on people. On faiths. On beliefs. On God.

It would be nice if I wasn't such a hypocrite.

It would be nice to stop loving everyone and everything so hard.

It would be nice to not be so passionate about everyone and everything.

It would be nice to have someone hold my hand for a day.

It would be nice to have a hug that lasted all day.

It would be nice to stop mourning him. And him. And him. And him. And him. Hmm, and him too.

It would be nice to fall asleep at night without sleeping pills.

It would be nice if my teeth didn't hurt all day cuz I was biting down on them all night.

It would be nice to not stress myself so much.

It would be nice if I went to class everyday that I have class.

It would be nice if I was sexy sexier.

It would be nice if everyone had keen fashion sense.

It would be nice if I'd stop apologizing for who I am, will be.

It would be nice if I had what I needed. Usually you can buy wants.

It would be nice not to sleep in an empty bed anymore.

It would be nice if I met The Him(TM) today.

It would be nice if I knew whether or not The Him(TM) existed.

It would be nice if I could kick his a** for taking so long to show up.

It would be nice if I could be a nomad. Or a painter. Or a streetside poet.

It would be nice if I stopped caring what people thought or think about me.

It would be nice to stop regretting things that can't change. Or missed chances, opportunities and make-it-rights.

It would be nice if my birthday wasn't in 3 weeks.

It would be nice if I ended this 'it would be nice' series, right now.

Au revoir.

Shalom(?), chaverim.

Hebrew Word of the Day:

none.

Current e-Motions: meh.
Today's Riddims: I didn't even listen to music today.

| Ok quickly... |

RIP Rosa Parks. Yes, I'm late. I'm slow too. I saw the memorial for her on my homepage a couple days ago, and it didn't click to me that she had passed. Yeah, color me challenged.



Is it wrong that I'm still mad at her for suing Outkast a couple years back?

Oh well.

Um, I will be going on a blogwide tour this weekend. I have a few essays to do and a test to study for, and once I get all of that in order I'll be back to regular blogging. Commenting on blogs is more fun anyway. Yes Todd, you're first on my list mon ami. And Souli, I need to write you another long-as-AJ's-face email soon. And Jason, I'm still mad at you.

Oh and it gets better!

The strike at school is almost imminent now. Grrrrrr!!! The good news is, it'll only last for 2 weeks or so. Bad news, you can never predict what'll happen. This is what it looked like last time York had a strike, thank God I wasn't there yet:



*sigh*

Otherwise, I'm doing so very well. I got a test back today that I took in late Sept. and I aced it. Didn't expect that. The prof for this particular class is no push over: only 3 people including myself got A's. And he announced it in lecture. That's just mean. lol, it's funny though.

Um, um, that's it. Oh yeah I went to this impromptu book reading/book launch last week Thurs. That was great. I have a few snaps I took that night that I'll put up here soon. Actually I have tons o' random pics I've been taking with my cellcam that I'll put up just cuz I wanna. Ummm...I've been having THE weirdest dreams involving the most unexpected people. I just don't know what to make of them. I've just been feeling this pregnant air around me lately, like something bigger than life is about to take place. I dunno. Maybe my birthday? *sobs* I don't wanna turn 23 *bawls* Lawd Geezus, mi cyan tek it!

Ahem, yeah. I'll be fine. That's Novermber 25th, for you miscreants who can't remember.

Oh yeah, I'm going to see the surgeon to set a date for my blasted surgery. I forgot to mention this. Nov 2nd is the date, and I dread it. If anyone has any questions re: my surgery, please email me about it. Thanks.

Despite that, I'm super hot looking lately - cuz I've been making jewelry, and it's dope. Debating on selling it, but that's tacky. Anyway, that's for another post which probably won't happen.

Shalom, chaverim.

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Lev



(layv / le-vahv) n. Heart; core; center. In Hebrew there are two terms for heart, lev and levav. The extra bet (which can mean “without”) in levav is said to allude to the way of the evil inclination, which should be avoided, leaving lev – the good heart.

Current e-Motions: I wanna write for DOSE, I wanna write for DOSE!
Today's Riddims: Robin Thicke fka Thicke - A Beautiful World - "Cherry Blue Skies"


PS. What the expletive is this! I saw this on BGLU and dang near fell out. High-larious.

| Oh Dear Lord, why?! |

Um, just click the title.

I'm not even gonna say anything else man.

LOL, and you know 2 Quarters did NOT write that well written, gramatically correct article right? And they tried to make it 'gangster' with token words like 'aint' and 'cats' and 'hood.'

Who are they trying to fool?

I can't even log onto my homepage without seeing this dude's mug all up in my face. Ugh.

Goodnight.


Shalom, chaverim.

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Simchat Torah

Current e-Motions: annoyed by this article...otherwise, I'm doing quite well.
Today's Riddims: Coldplay - Blueroom EP - "Such A Rush"

| Survey Day! |

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Super Wonder Your Superpower is Accessorizing Your Weakness is Ice Your Weapon is Your Magic Catapult Your Mode of Transportation is Unicycle

What's your Superhero Name?

Accessorizing?! How on POINT is that? hahaha.

You Failed the US Citizenship Test

Oops, you only got 2 out of 10 right!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

HAHAHAA, 2 out of 10!!! That's horrible. Oh well. I don't care about y'all and your stinky country.

You Should Learn Japanese

You're cutting edge, and you are ready to delve into wacky Japanese culture. From Engrish to eating contests, you're born to be a crazy gaijin. Saiko!

What Language Should You Learn?

Niiiiice, I answered honestly in this one too. Dope.

So it's only right that...

Your Japanese Name Is...

Chika Tokudaiji

What's your Japanese Name?

Ja mata ashita!

| Binary Confessions |

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Shalom, chaverim.

Ps. It's Sukkot, whoo hoo! I don't have a Sukkah tent though :(
Pps. click on the title for help with this post, suckas.

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Sukkot



(soo-KOHT) n. Sukkot. Feast of Tabernacles; Fall festival; celebrating the forty years when the people of Israel lived in booths or tents in the desert. Sukkot is one of three pilgrim festivals when Jews were expected to go up to Jerusalem.

Current e-Motions: trying to find a way to free myself a lil bit, every 2.5 minutes...
Today's Riddims: Nelly Furtado - Folklore - "Picture Perfect"

| cuz i got it like that |

i smell like
the Promised Land
on purpose
Hurt your glare
if you take in
my beauty too long
make hush puppies
sing love songs
abandoning
defeat as
pimps
on unemployment cheques
beg for mercy at my feet
it ain't easy
being so fly
so i tone it down
incognito
riding solo on the metro
with hoops and
Jamaican colored rings
drinking Ting
as the flavoured
tonic of the day.
Holler if you hear me
but don't come near me
if your pants
sag lower than my heels
and your ride
is rims on Big Wheels
cuz a sistergirl
puts self respect on deck
before desperation.
In this Toronto situation
i sundial the Tower
to tell clocks from minutes
i analog math
before single digits
and headwrapped
homegirls like me
rather carry occupations
than stagger blindly
from the club 1/2 hr before 3.
it
aint
so easy
being
me,
but i perfect it
with ease
make revolution harmonies
with the banging of my keys
and raise GPA's
with ideas that surpass
the confidence of
unparalleled TA's
that
cant
even
grade
my
essays.
it aint
as cocky
as it is true
the prevaricate
is the opposite
of this uncompromised
tune.
take in a wiff
and reminisce back
to Exodus
when the thought of my
scent
was heaven sent
sided with 2 cents
more than the predicted
quotient.

stir it up
and take a sip of
this potion.

Milk &
Honey
is the name of my
lotion...




HAHAHA, it really is! Burt's Bees Milk & Honey body lotion is the greatest.

I dunno how smelling myself turned into a freestyle. *shrugs* Oh well.