Let's be real: I'm usually frantic about something. My exterior forever in tact (cuz I can pull of *looking* calm REAL easily), underneath I tend to stress about a lot of things. The last 10 years of my life have been built and demolished by stress.
So now...to be at a point where my health is back in order. I'm finito with school. I'm on my way to Japan in a matter of months. Not having to be at work until next month....maaaaan...
I'M BORED OUTTA MY MIND!
Yeah I know I'm recovering, I'm supposed to take it easy and such, but I need to DO something. I did half a workout today just because I've had enough. Ok it wasn't half, just like the warmup and then 3 minutes of cardio, shutup. But nonetheless, I just can't take having nothing to do. And even moreso, nothing to be worried about.
I'm a worrier, tried and true. Doesn't mean I don't have faith, I just tend to be concerned about eeeeverything all at once. And then I'm a sensationalist, and make it seem like it's more of a problem than it is. Theeeen, if it really looks bad, I'm a fatalist. Believing all that I am and will become is doomed.
But that cycle of madness is over, B"H. NOW what am I gonna do? I don't know how to live having nothing to worry about. I know that sounds creepy but it's true. I'm having the worst insomnia of my life. Save for this morning (from about 7am-12pm), the last time I slept was Friday night. And it wasn't that type of groggy insomnia either, I was wide awake and fully alert. I'm used to sleeping, eating, thinking and being totally encumbered by some sort of stressful situation. And what's wild is, the more stressed I am, the MORE I wanna sleep. lol.
Anyway, I'm just letting my days pass away. I need to be WRITING. Doing ART. I'm procrastinating on procrastinating...it's that bad. But mostly I have to try and get a normal sleeping pattern back. And eating pattern, my appetite is all over the place.
I need to find me a man.
hahahaaa...such thoughts make me laugh. Toronto, the city of little boys who ride bikes. With rims! *rolls eyes*
I heard that in Japan they dig the sistahs. Ooooo. Wikked. Maybe I can come back yelling watasiwatomodatiniaimasita!
Now that'd be sugee-sugee.
Shalom, chaverim and Oyasumi nasai.
Japanese Word of the Day:
Watashi wa onaka ga suite imasu.
I'm hungry. Or lit. trans. "My stomach is in the state of being empty."
Current e-Motions: mmm, saaalmooonnn...with wild rice! Yummmm.
Wikked Riddims: The Most Serene Republic - Underwater Cinematographer - "Content Always Was My Favourite Colour"