5.08.2006

| can't sleep, won't sleep. |

So I'm still awake. Like WIDE awake like I had an overdose of Redbull. But I don't drink that mess (anymore), thanks to a certain Tillman-Young.

Yup, AWAKE. Doing laundry at the moment. Oh and I even braided my hair, like braids-braids, extension-braids. They look pretty good for a first timer. I'm such a do-it-ya-self-sucka type of person. I'd make everything I own, if I could. Actually, about 60% of what I own, the majority of it, I can make. I have the skills to make, rather. God is so good.

Awake. I'm an insomniac, but add a few pre-surgery jitters and my lack of mom-age and I'm really a wreck. I want my mommy to be heeeereee! Waaaaaaa!
I'm a sucker.

I have like this makeshift will and testament in my written diary in case I don't make it. lol. Adam will inherit everything I have online, which is a lot! You better appreciate it too punk. Or else I *will* haunt you.

I'll be fine though. My mom had this lady from her workplace pray with me over the phone earlier. She's fiery, man! It's amazing to talk to people who have waaaay more faith than you do. It's something you aspire to be/become.

It's t-minus 4 hours.

Lord.

I guess this would be a good time to confess and repent of all of my treacherous faults. I think I should get to it. Not on here though, y'all are too nosy.

You know what I realized though? When facing a situation that has your life at stake, you really begin to understand how useless religion is. Now say I crash and burn during the surgery...will the Mishnah do *anything* for me at that point? Um NO. Will a book of siddur be worth much? Nope. Having a bible at the bedside? Heck nah.

All intangible things become priceless at that point. Such as faith, such as love, such as belief, such as knowing God IS. And that's it. That's all it comes down to in the end, so why are we ALL so divided, hmmmm? Let's truly ponder this deep within our spirits. Maybe someone can come up with an answer.

I swear I think about religion, spirituality and philosophy almost ALL of the time. I'm sure I'll be dreaming about it while they drug me to sleep. And THAT's the part that's making me queasy. I'm so resistent to drugs. What if I don't even GET knocked out? What if I'm wide awake during the whole dang thing? What if it's the complete opposite and that stuff knocks me so far out it takes me forever to wake up?

Ok, there's my fears. Bite me.

My mind is flooded.

And my laundry needs my attention.

So I'll go. Sleep later. Something like that.

Pray I come back in good spirits, heck even bad spirits. Any spirits! Just as long as I'm alive!!!

K, that's it.

Upendo
, everyone.

Shalom, chaverim and Oyasumi nasai.


Current e-Motions: !&)(*!!^!!_!_!!(!***!^^!_???"":
Wikked Riddims: (fill in with random church hymn)

7 comments:

Hip-Hope Sparrow said...

Praying G_d performs spectacular surgery on you and that His fingers tickle:)

Puddleglum said...

praying that you remembered to wear clean, breathable undies.

Aww, what the heck...
I also hope that as the surgeon is cutting out that icky glob that other icky spiritual globs get cut out, allowing you to awaken fresh and ready to go git em.

jasdye said...

yep.

wow.

praying for you, sis.

D said...

Hi, I found you through Jason's blog.

I'm D, and I love what you had to say....

God bless,
-Dx0x

chosen2b4given said...

How'd your surgery go?

Hope all is well.

Shalom

jasdye said...

honey, hope you had a good surgery. (you KNOW what i mean.)

and i hope you have a good weekend. ttyl.

Kurisuteen Kaneshiro said...

Hey everyone! awwww, look at the love. And yes Adam, I held the freshness down. lol. Mr. Dinosaur from Haiti. I'm *still* dying over that one.

As for the rest of you all, thanks so much for the well wishes and prayers. I'm back (almost) and I'm fine. Still getting through a few recovery patches but hey, that's how it goes. I mean it's been only 5 days and I went on a Walmart shopping spree tonight. Now that's speed healing!

Hello to you D! Thanks for stopping by. This is gonna be strange because I already have a friend I call "D" so I'll try not to confuse the two of you. :) Shalom to you.

Um um, I guess that's all I have for now.

B"H, I'm still alive. Obviously, God has A LOT to do with me still. Bwahahaha, y'all aint ready!

Shalom L'Ahavah, chaverim.