| *sigh* |

Before I begin, I'd like to thank you all for your wonderful comments re: the Giftmas holiday. Some of you I disagree with *mean grills Jason* and some of you left well thought out comments that have me pondering a bit, thinking I may be coming off a bit harsh *smiles at Tre and Jen, waves at Jen too, thanks for visiting my site :)* But overall, I pretty much stand my ground. The only thing I've caved with, is getting people some kind of gifts, and I decided to MAKE them. I'm on a jewelry making frenzy! Oh and if anyone wants a bracelet or necklace, h-o-l-l-e-r! Gabi, I remember you said you wanted something a while back? Let me know which item you want and I'll get to it, sis.

Anyway, as I was: *siiiiiiiigh*



I dunno where Greg is and it's driving me crazy. (If some of you don't know who Greg is, he's my friend, a really really good friend, my ex as well but that title disappeared loooong ago, umm he's a loser bordering on geekdom, used to be in the airforce in Alaska, he's a punk, still lives there right now but is originally from Cincy, he sucks big time also, aaand that's all ya need to know for now). The last two nights I've dreamt about him, and they were pretty much the same dream:

I'm in some apartment in NY and I have this monster closet full of clothes, almost like Cher's from Clueless, and there's this sense of urgency in the air. And once I start to get anxious, I get this weird phonecall from my either Greg or my mom and she tells me to hurry up cuz he's coming over and he only has an hour for lunch, so I have to be on time, as in be dressed and ready to roll out on time. So I'm digging through this huge closet full of clothes, and I try things on but they never look right, or they're either too big or too small or not appropriate for the summer. And while I'm struggling trying to find clothes, Greg calls me and says he's downstairs and is telling me to buzz him in, or instead that I come outside and meet him by his car or else he's going to leave. It's 12:13pm. I continue struggling with my clothes and my hair, and last night my hair started to fall out, and it was this funny red-orange color (don't ask me why) and then I start to really panic, because time's flying by and I'm shedding like some wild animal. Anyway, by the time I find something decent (but I still don't really like what I'm wearing) I come out of my apt. and look for him. It's now 1:13pm. And woosh, he's gone. So I'm frantically looking for him up and down the streets of Manhattan (why the HECK would I live in hot-arse smogville Manhattan? That's how you know this is a dream, cuz there's no way in hell I'd live there) and I can't find him. Then some other crazy stuff happens where I'm looking for a job, and I'm starving, and some other crap I can't remember.

Anyway, the dreams were really, really wacky - I've only told the basics. And I've dreamt this exact dream about him before...ummm...I'd say back in late summer, a bit before school started. And it always has a lot of clothes, and there's a lot of panic and distress, and I never see him. Yet, he causes all of the commotion.

Anyway, yeah I dunno where dude is. I've called him how many times and sent stupid texts. I even sent a weak text threat (yesterday), but I caved the next day (today) and called him cuz I'm a sucker. I'm trying to figure out if he's mad at me...? But Greg's not the type to be mad at me and ignore me. Greg's a lil more confrontational than that. And if it's because I sent that sarcastic text about his soon-to-be-ex, then I hope he knows that I was joking and really didn't mean what I said. It was a silly comment, cuz I just wanted to point out how insane I think his soon-to-be-ex is, so insane, that she's even convinced me that she's NOT insane. That was the gist of it at least. Ha ha, right? Right? ...No?

Dang.

Side note: Matthew's back in New Orleans and he hates it. I don't blame the poor boy, I'd be mad too. I'd get into the details of his living arrangements, but I don't even know what they are. He has no i-net access, and I can never call him cuz I'm too nocturnal (meaning I'm unavailable in the day, yet have all the time in the world to talk at 3am, hahaha as many of you now know, even SHOP at 3am, however he can't talk to me cuz there's this Gestapo-enforced curfew at his sister's house where he's prohibited from any nightly function besides using the bathroom).

Anyway yeah, back to freakin Gregory. I have this gut feeling something's terribly wrong. And maybe I'm picking up from the panic in my dreams, but I feel really anxious re: him right now. I don't even know why. He could be fine. Just in a funk. Just wants to be left alone. But come on, he pretty much keeps me in the loop about everything, why disappear now? My sister thinks he went back to Cincy, but he doesn't go back home until Feb. I dunno, maybe he's just working a lot? Nah...he'd still at least try to call. Especially since I've left messages. Ugh. If he's ignoring me I'll be REALLY PISSED. Cuz that's a fruity thing to do.

Ok I'm done. I'm just gonna stop caring. I realize people tend to show up once I do that. Losers.

Shabbat Shalom, chaverim.

Hebrew Word of the Day:

Mechayil el Chayil



(me-KHAI-yeel el KHAI-yeel) phr. “From strength to strength."

Current e-Motions: anxiety turning into anger...grrrr! But actually really content inside :) Giftmas is going to be really nice this year. Ohhh and I'm going to this hotel dinner party with my homie Miguel aka Migs for secular New Years! Whoo-hoo, and ya know he's paying for me too, hee hee.
Today's Riddims: GRITS - Dichotomy A - "Get Down"