| I let lil things break me - Christine who? |

I do and it really sucks.

You know, I shouldn't let certain things or people bother me, but I do. Cuz I care. And I hate when I lose something I care about. Or just a particular portion of it. Like...my heart breaks a lil. A lot. Cuz no matter how much you wish, you'll never get that portion back. And that was the portion you really took the time to treasure. And invest your time and effort, and heck even money into, indirectly.

Things change. People change. Shoot, I change all the time. Yet I manage to still be Christine. Don't I?

I already hate this post.

Y'all are an insane bunch of talmidim. lol. Thanks for the responses last post. I got MAD at Jason, but quickly realized that there was no real reason for me to be upset. None of you *really* participated in my heresy and that's fine, I guess you missed the gist of where I was going and what I was trying to do. Have any of y'all seen 'The Body'? If not, that explains why no one really got my point. You would've had to have seen that movie.

Anyway, Jen gets the Academy Award for calmest and soundest argument ever. Thank you, again.

And Adam gets the Jimmy Swaggart Award for mentioning me being condemned to hell. I liked that one lol. And the ref. to Gabi on top of it! Two awards for you.


I was feelin pretty irie tonight before I talked to certain people. And then the cryptic, emo, downtrodden Christine emerged. I don't wanna do that tonight maaaan! I don't wanna be her right now. I have too much to be thankful for. And I'm just too freakin blessed for that. I really am.

And I'm talented. And cute. And fun to be around. And silly. And wonderfully clever. And a liar. Cuz I type out this kinda stuff in order to make myself believe it lol.

I'm going to a fashion show in two weeks. I don't even know what to weeeear! Toronto Fashion Week is next week too. I could've gotten passes! I didn't know they were opening it up to the public this time. Those heifers! Could've let a wanna-be designer know, sheesh.

And that wonderfully reformed Christine I mentioned last post...? Bump it. I ain't revealin her to none of y'all. Too much drama. I can already see it. I already lack friends, I don't need to lose anymore.

That's pretty shallow ain't it? Yup, guess so.

Ugh, I'm gonna go make bracelets. Read Lamentations. Ponder the purpose of life, etc.

What a disappointing evening.

PS. PS. I WILL say this. Today I was able to moderate a discussion of The Brome play Isaac and Abraham with a Catholic, a Jew, an agnostic, a Buddhist and and a Muslim. Why was I able to do this AND dominate the class as well? Cuz I've read and applied all the texts relevant to their faiths (or lack of), that's why. It's good to know the contents outside of your box. Tis all.

Shabbat Shalom, chaverim and Oyasumi nasai.

Current e-Motions: meeeeeeeh. and a side of 'feh' sprinked with 'blah'.
Wikked Riddims: (earlier today) Yellowcard (yup, them again! lol) - Lights and Sounds - "Waiting Game"...something about a 25-piece orchestra infused with rock that sounds out of this world. *swoon* (right now) John Reuben - Hindsight - "Hindsight"...it's a beautiful thing.


jasdye said...

shoot, i opened another comment box before completing this one again. i had a small letter written.

again, sorry for upsetting you. been a rough week and a half, so i was a bit more rumble-ready than usual. and so i may have appeared to be more vitriolic and personal-attack-y than i should have. lo siento.

anyway, sorry, didn't see "the body." unless it was mine. that's a sight not to beholden, though.

li'l sis, now you know that i love you despite our disagreements.

and then there's the fashion stuff. where are you on that dream?


chosen2b4given said...

An Academy, huh?
That'll look good on my resume.

hee-hee ;)

jasdye said...

hey, i just noticed i got an academy award too. except i don't think it's from the same academy that yearly holds a love-fest to congratulate itself on its self-importance and holds the most important fashion show (meaning, *what straight man cares?*) before and meaningless banter before/during/after.

or is it...?

solitaire said...

Hey sis!

I wish I was there for Toronto Fashion Week. I've never been, but heard it was half decent. Can't compare to New York or Paris, that's FA SHO.

Let me know if there are any Black designers!

mindful said...

first off congrats on moderating your dicussion and killing it... *ahem*

"And I'm talented. And cute. And fun to be around. And silly. And wonderfully clever. And a liar. Cuz I type out this kinda stuff in order to make myself believe it lol."

love, at least you are aware of what you do and why you do it. some don't even make this assumption about themselves, knowing full well deep down inside they need to. don't let the little things get to you too. it only takes one instance to break your spirit, don't let it get broken before you're able to live a full and happy life.

Kurisuteen Kaneshiro said...

J.uno - Yeah I know, I know. We fight like siblings, that's actually a good thing. No mincing with words, ya know? I need to email you back. I have more detailed things to say...just don't have el tiempo at the moment. *hugs* I'm taking back your Academy Award though :)

J.dos - :)

Souli - Hey giiiiirl! Yeah Fashion Week was pretty decent this past week, although i didn't get to go. i actually missed out on getting public passes by like a day. Those meanies announced it late and I believe they did it on purpose. Fashion snobs! Gotta love em. lol. I *am* going to a fashion show this upcoming week though. I'll definitely make sure I post about that, and tell you what went on.

Tre - "don't let it get broken before you're able to live a full and happy life." Golden advice, sis, golden. I'm slowly coming to understand that I need to build up way more resistance, especially to certain people, of that wretched opposite sex. *sigh*

jasdye said...


even THAT'S been rescinded!

guile said...

you've got good taste in music :)..

Kurisuteen Kaneshiro said...

Hey guile! Thanks for stopping by my blog :) Wow, all the way from Myspace? How'd that happen? lol.

Your MySpace page is phenomenal!!! Your group sounds *amazing*! Y'all are SO on my music list as of NOW :) That's really good music (AND good lyrics, that's hard to come by).