| Watashi wa kyooshi desu! |

Which pretty much means "I'm an English teacher."

As of June 26th, I, Kurisuteen Emeeria Bah-rensu, am going to Nihon aka JAPAN. Departure is set for November blah blah blah, y'all don't need to know those details.

I recently got hired by one of the 'Big Four' North American corporations who hunt scout recent sucker graduates to enslave neophytic, yet promising, talent to teach conversational English to a wide range of Japanese people. My particular school is in the Toyonaka district (it's a suburb! yaaaaay) nearby Japan's second largest megacity : Osaka.



My classes consist of about 50% Japanese businessmen/women, 15% kids (I loves the kids!), 20% highschool and college students and the rest homemakers and random people who wanna learn the language.

Apparently Japanese students learn a good 10 years of grammatical English, but they can't speak this stinkin language. That's like French for me. I can write a mean Francois essay, but speaking it is another issue. I used to be able to muster a lil fake french accent, but being quasi-fluent in Spanish has made EVERYTHING I speak into a 'rrrr' shrill. Even English words that don't have that shrill I put it on em lol. But yeah, so my company's aim is to get Japanese people speaking! And the best part, my classes have me speaking only 20-25% of the time, the rest is aaaaall by my students. Bwahahaha! Less work, less work! Yeah RIGHT. This company plans on burying me ALIVE, trust me. They eat gaijin (foreigners) for choushoku (breakfast).

The Japanese have a CRAZY work ethic, as in, they HAVE a work ethic. 'Work' and 'ethic' don't go together for North Americans. Speaking of which I HAVE to catch Clerks 2 when it comes out. Rosario might just make it interesting. Even though I hate her. *hatehatehatehate* @ D. lol.

Speaking of which, why have I decided to pick up myself and head to Japan when all this craziness with North Korea ah gwan? Like really? And you KNOW Japan is gonna be caught up in the middle of it, with that whole 'for the US or against it' nonsense. And D, WHY is Kim Jong-Il's birthday the same day as yours? Are all crazy people born that day? I see a trend. lol. j.k. *cough*not*cough*

Anyway, Nihon here I come. So in honor of my new soon-to-be home, I shall run down a few things about Japan I absolutely dig:

1. THE MEN.

Um, hello! Where did all these fiiiiine lookin dudes come from? Did y'all NOT see Japan's star FIFA player in TIME?! Um, wow.

Yeah, the one on the right, that's Hidetoshi Nakata. Heck, even the one on the LEFT too, I don't even know his name (c) Alicia. lol. Wait no, that's the baseball dude, something something Suzuki?!...well whatever.
But apparently Hidetoshi retired from soccer today. *sobs* I mean he should be snickering now since Brazil's out, and Portugal *sobs again*

But that means he'll have more time to travel around...saaaaay to OSAKA...and I could just run into him (literally) in a shrine or something...who knows....*starts e-stalking him*, you didn't see that. And I mean he's only 29, he needs a wife...mmmmhmm. I always said I'd marry rich.

Yowsa. I didn't expect 'gorgeous' to be apart of that package too.

1b. In continuum with number 1 = Takeshi Kaneshiro.

Fierce, fierce acting talent, with fierce fierce looks.

It's a bonus! Though he's 1/2 Chinese/Taiwanese his heart still belongs to Japan, I mean dude has an all out Japanese name.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure all of you have seen House of Flying Daggers (the pics above are stills from the movie), if not, you probably live in Alaska.

Oh snap, sorry Greg. lol.

Hahahahahaa, that makes it even funnier to me!

But yeah Takeshi is the man. His other well known movies 'Chungking Express' ('94) and 'Perhaps Love' ('05) are classics, do yourself a favour and check em out at your video store's foreign films section.


2. The Shibuya and Harajuku districts.

Cheap, dope, strange, original, funky, hypefresh and ever evolving are the only words that can describe these two areas close to Tokyo. I cannot WAIT to Shinkansen myself over there. I'd just want to people watch all day:


Shibuya


Harajuku

Despite Gwen Stefani's cluelessness, Harajuku aren't tiny lil dancer girls, it's a dang portion of the Tokyo prefecture. Sheesh.


3. Ikebana, Origami, and Fashion.

Ikebana is the complex art of flower arrangment, put loosely. Yeah some of you may scoff, but it's serious business. There's a precision that only the most skilled hands can muster up. I think I might take a class or two, some of the arrangments are breathtaking:




Origami, which I totally suck at. But I've been doing it since my private school days. I bet y'all didn't know I had somewhat skills like that? Ahem:



My most recent attempt, hahaha. It's supposed to be a crane. Shutup.

And lastly, fashion, I mean that's obvious. Their fashion sense is one of a kind. And to prove it, there's only one fashion god in my book, and his name is Yohji Yamamoto:




And for you Adidas fans, check out the Y-3 collection. Here's a sample:



And lastly Yohji:

Isn't he so cute and bite sized? lol.

*bows down* Itadakimasu and deeeep gassho.


4. Onsens and Shrines



Onsens are hot spring baths. There's a ton of em in Japan because of course, Japan is a mountainous country, which leads to underground volcanic action in MANY areas of the islands (apparently in Tokyo, they feel tremors EVERYDAY, um no thanks!). So yeah, they're public baths, which I know I'm not down for, so I'll dole out an extra few hundred yen for an hour by myself, domo arigatou gozaimasu.



Shrines are abound of course. Shrines in Japan are like churches in Jamaica: everywhere. Japan's national religion/faith/spirituality is Shinto (and Buddhism's a cool second). Shinto's something where the Japanese are believed to be of divine and holy origins and they owe the kamis (gods) for keeping them around since their fall from godship...hmmm, sounds familiar. lol.


And finally....


5. MY OWN DANG APARTMENT!!!!

I pay for nothing but utilities and food, how sweet is that? My own lil place where I can be as loud and obnoxious as I want...until 9pm that is, or the landlord is liable to either a) tell me to yoseyo! (means 'shut it' or 'quit it') b) ask me for a wairo (bribe) so I can keep on being loud until 10pm or c) kick my loud and obnoxious butt out.

This isn't my apartment, but apparently I should expect something similar:



And just add on a kitchen, a tv area, a balcony and a bathroom and that's that. lol.

But I could care less it could be a CLOSET! I just can't wait to have my own place. Hehehehee.

And that's the top 5. There's much much more but I'm sure I'll get to it, alongside some live pictures of it all when I'm actually in Japan.

Soooo, that's it. For all the inquiring minds who wanted to know, this is what's been going on with me since the end of May, shoooot even before that. And I'm not quite done yet. Moving to another country on the other side of the world for a year isn't easy. I have MASS AMOUNTS of things to do still!! But it's all worth it. This is definitely gonna be an experience of a lifetime. And yeah, I'll have a blog for it.

Maybe even...*gasp* a Myspace page...!?!

*vomit*

Oyasuminasai, kozakou.

And Baruch Hashem for my many MANY blessings.

Shalom, chaverim and Matashita.

Current e-Motions: chillin, but this entry took a lot of work! Time for food.
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